The Family

So this semester I'm taking a class called The Family, its all about the Proclamation to the family and how to apply it to our lives now. We are supposed to do a project to share some of things we learn so I will be sharing some of those things on our blog. First, read through the Proclamation so you can refresh your mind on these eternal truths. 

This past week we have talked about marriage being ordained of God and how to build successful and happy marriages. A lot of the things I'm going to touch on come from a talk given by President Kimball called "Oneness in Marriage". I loved this talk and really think it has great insights. 

People too often think that you find prince charming and live happily ever after. This is the dream right? In a talk given by Spencer W. Kimball he said, 

"We have come to realize that the mere performance of a ceremony does not bring happiness and a successful marriage. Happiness does not come by pressing a button, as does the electric light; happiness is a state of mind and comes from within. It must be earned"

So i know what your thinking, that doesn't sound very enjoyable. He later goes on to say,"While marriage is difficult, and discordant and frustrated marriages are common, yet real, lasting happiness is possible, and marriage can be more an exultant ecstasy than the human mind can conceive."

Getting married and gaining eternal life with our families should be the main goal while on this earth. Family is at the center of God's plan. It's why we were put on this earth and how we can return back to his presence. Elder Bednar has said, "Righteous marriage is a commandment and an essential step in the process of creating a loving family relationship that can be perpetuated beyond the grave". 

We came to this earth to gain our bodies and strive to return back to him. This can only be accomplished through marriage. 

So now I want to discuss ways to better our marriage. Ways to make our marriages happier. I think President Kimball said two very important things to remember when talking about becoming "Happier"

"Some think of happiness as a glamorous life of ease, luxury, and constant thrills; but true marriage is based on a happiness which is more than that, one which comes from giving, serving, sharing, sacrificing, and selflessness."

"it is certain that almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price."

Remembering these statements is critical in understanding how to become happier. We must be willing to do our part to better the marriage. President Kimball gave these 4 steps that are key to successful marriages. 

1. There must be a proper approach towards the marriage 

This is something that is critical to do before you get married. You must both seek counsel from the Lord. Pray often to know what you should do. I know that this was a great source of comfort for both me and Nick when we were thinking about getting married. We both knew the importance of counseling with the Lord and we knew that he would guide us correctly. 

2. There must be complete unselfishness. 

I think people know this to an extent. We know that it's no longer about just me, but do you really show that? Do you put your spouses needs over your own? Do you put the needs of your family over your own? You must eliminate the "I" and "my" and switch them for "we" and "our"

3. There must be a continued courting and expressions of affection and kindness. 

President Kimball says in his talk that relationships are like flowers that you must always be giving them water to survive. Our relationships are constantly in need of nourishment. By doing this we keep our love alive. President Kimball said, "Certainly the foods most vital for love are consideration, kindness, thoughtfulness, concern, expressions of affection, embraces of appreciation, admiration, pride, companionship, confidence, faith, partnership, equality, and interdependence"  I think this step is often forgotten once couples are married. You must keep dating each other to make your marriage work. Compliment each other, leave love notes, surprise each other,  go on dates, go to the temple together, show that you care, and tell them that you love them everyday. 

4. You must be striving to live the commandments completely. 

By striving to keep the commandments you and your spouse will be blessed. As you come closer to Christ, you will become closer to each other. Living the gospel standards creates the ultimate happiness. Having a righteous family that will be together forever will create an everlasting happiness. 

 I know marriage can be hard and that we will always have trials but if we work together and use these tools we will have successful, happy, loving marriages.